Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
