the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
