please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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