SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
