Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
someone owes me an orgasm
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
