I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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