I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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