i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I would fuck him just for his dog
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
