chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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