Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ketchup is God's man juice
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
