i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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