dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
