Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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