I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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