y did u give ur computer a hand job?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
