Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
