morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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