Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
