There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
