Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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