After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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