For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
