Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
