I'm so fucking centered right now
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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