I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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