I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
