Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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