She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
