My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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