Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
