i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
