I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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