dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think I died a long time ago.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
