Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
