do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
