I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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