The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
