i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We talked him into tasing himself.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
