why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
