So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
