She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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