shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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