Please, let me fuck your mom
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
