I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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