Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
