who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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