So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
