I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
