I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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