I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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